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Lately I’ve thought a lot about the American mythos and how independence is woven not only into our history but our stories and our culture, and still is to this day. In Hollywood, in our literature, and music. The emphasis on it has in someways become a detriment in some ways. We don’t ask for help. We chastise ourselves for feeling “needy”. We push our children toward it thinking it’s the best thing for them even when they’re not ready.

I’m not saying independence is all bad… of course a healthy dose and some self-reliance is a good thing. But the sentiment that trickles over into other parts of our lives and society isn’t always quite so healthy. Take for example financial independence… That’s another one, too, that can lead to not so desirable mindsets and values… like greed.

Thinking in terms of interdependence breeds compassion, which I think we could use whole lot more of.

Thanks for sharing these insights. Awesome stuff!

Cheers,
Miche

As always, a beautifully written and thought provoking post. I agree with BK – however much we see ourselves as independent powerful individuals we are all part of a much larger process. A lot of our suffering comes from the belief that we are separate from the world around us and a desire to try and control that. Interdependence recognizes this and we start to acknowledge that everything in the world is connected back to our us. It teaches us to step into the shoes of others and to act in their best interests rather than our own. Wonderful stuff – keep it up.

Phil – http://www.lessordinaryliving.com

I believe we are all interconnected to each other whether we like it or not; what we are doing each day can affect people directly or indirectly. Just as our writings in cyberspace also directly influence people who are reading them and indirectly influence the people around these people. If we choose to influence them positively, then we can be sure that we can indirectly influence the people around them positively too. isn’t that amazing?

Just last night I was thinking about loneliness. I know it’s there, more than we admit. A product of our quest for independence, as you so eloquently say. And it’s weird – we want to connect, and yet we don’t want to connect. Legions of people (like me in this instant) writing at a computer screen. How much am I really connecting? How interdependent are we truly? I know many will disagree with me and say “that’s not me, I’m not lonely.” But then they will tell the story of spending their evenings on the computer instead of in the company of those who are near and dear.

I hear my clients experiencing this, questioning this, all the time. Longing for interdependence, actually, but not knowing how to create it. Not knowing how to make the transformation, and unhook from the perceived safety of independence and the solitary life.

I loved these lines, “Soaked in our craving to connect, our hunger for human interaction, our appetite for attachment, no matter how uncomfortable at first, we begin to find ways to thaw what once was frozen, to infuse warmth to what once was cold.”

In answer to your question, I think interdependence is the key to everything. Understanding our connections with each other through our families, our communities, our cities and throughout this world we live in is, in my humble opinion, the only way we will ever achieve a common peace. It will take transformation at many levels for this interdependence to occur…but I have faith that it will happen:~)

I think most loving individuals would admit in a heartbeat their interdependence. Independent from everything, family, job, home – leaves an island of one. No one truly wants to be alone in this world. (Hugs)Indigo