The View from the Other Side — A Haibun

by Belinda Munoz on March 2, 2011

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It was a moonless night. The house was so quiet I could almost hear my thoughts echoing in fear. Sweet boy was deep in dreamland and you had to be somewhere far. I, a jumble of nerves, worried about you getting lost, losing control of the vehicle or coming up on a patch of broken highway. Did you eat? Are you staying awake? Did your phone run out of juice? Where is the joy in traversing unfamiliar ground alone on a dark, starless night? But of course, this was only my perspective as I was not with you. And how I dislike it every time we have to be apart! I not only am used to being with you; I actually still love your company after all these years. You later came home, with a hug, a kiss and an intimate chuckle, assuring me you were just fine on that drive. You had music, solitude and the open road, needing nothing more.

silhouettes of hills
undulating to sounds of
strings and beats combined

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This is a haibun for One Shot Wednesday. A haibun is a combination of short prose strong in imagery and at least one haiku. In a haibun, the haiku does not have to relate directly to the prose. It is up to the reader to see the link between the two.

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Image by paul (dex)

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

1 lucyfurleaps March 2, 2011 at 1:42 am

I love everything about this- the image, the prose and especially the haiku. Really nice cohesion between all three elements.

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2 Kavita March 2, 2011 at 1:45 am

Oh wowww!! I have never come across a Haibun before.. and yours was the best way to start!! The prose was sooo captivating… and how beautiful it was enhanced with that tantalizing haiku… the 2 just seemed to waltz together perfectly…
Vivid and lucid, the imagery was fabulous!!

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3 ayala March 2, 2011 at 3:45 am

Thank you for introducing me to a Haibun. You wrote it beautifully . When I was reading the first lines it was as if you were in my brain. When my son Josh travels from school I always have thoughts running through my mind. Always worried if he can drive all those hours. Again, beautiful words from you.

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4 Belinda March 2, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Thanks, Ayala. I wanted to capture how we get too much in our heads fretting over things that couldn’t be farther from reality. Such a waste of energy, right?

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5 Gerry/Strummed Words March 2, 2011 at 3:53 am

Enjoyed the haibun. Excellent1

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6 brian March 2, 2011 at 6:28 am

needing nothing more sticks out to me…particularly to be saying to the one that waited on me…smiles. nice halibun

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7 Belinda March 2, 2011 at 5:26 pm

I wanted to touch on physical distance causing feelings of disconnectedness in a relationship no matter how intimate. Sometimes it can be bridged with communication; sometimes not.

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8 TheKitchenWitch March 2, 2011 at 7:24 am

Never heard of a halibun–thanks for my learning moment of the day! Yours is beautiful.

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9 kelly March 2, 2011 at 7:44 am

beautiful. i like the way the two pieces play off each other yet also stand alone.

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10 L.L. Barkat March 2, 2011 at 2:01 pm

“silhouettes of hills”

I liked the internal rhyme there. And the image, opaque.

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11 Steve Isaak March 2, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I love writing haibuns, though I write them sparingly – I have to feel strongly about the subject, whereas much of my other writing is “capture the here and now, quiet or loud”.

I say this because, to be blunt, most people bungle them, mistake them for a simple prose exercises (and forget the poetic nature of the endeavor) – you’ve done excellent here, not only avoiding those too-common train wrecks, but made me go “wow, that was wonderful!”

Stunning work, my friend.

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12 Belinda March 2, 2011 at 3:21 pm

You are too kind, Steve. I definitely see how easy it is to bungle this form. I wrote out the prose with line breaks to see if the phrases could stand alone as (semi) poetic lines. Overall, I had fun writing this which can’t be a bad thing.

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13 Jannie Funster March 2, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I wouldn’t mind a little music, solitude and open road myself. Or better yet, a LOT of all 3.

Super, Belinda! My first haibun.

xo

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14 Belinda March 2, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Indeed. From the perspective of the one who’s overly worried, things look dreadful, yet the object of worry coudl be having a great ol’ time.

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15 Lori | JaneBeNimble March 2, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Hi Belinda,
Lovely! I love learning about poetry forms, too. Thanks for the informal class. (Can I buy you a cup of tea?) 😉

The first line really set the mood, yum. Thanks for allowing me to bask in your words.
~xo

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16 Aileen March 2, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Belinda, thank you for introducing me to a Haibun 🙂 your writing is absolutely beautiful. – strong & beautiful

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17 Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri March 2, 2011 at 8:00 pm

Haibun, nice to meet you.
Belinda, the imagery in this prose is excellent. You capture strength in your words.

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18 Talon March 2, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I remember nights like that – you captured it so perfectly and poignantly.

I love the haiku, Belinda. It’s perfect as a stand alone, but enhances the prose beautifully.

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19 Claudia March 3, 2011 at 7:27 am

think we all know such moments…you have captured it well..the fear…the thougths in the quiet house..and the relief..

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20 Mama Zen March 3, 2011 at 8:45 am

Beautifully done!

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21 Kelly March 3, 2011 at 11:44 am

This was lovely. I love being left to my own imagination and interpretation to connect the haiku and prose.

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22 Marci | Liberating Choices March 3, 2011 at 12:33 pm

What a beautiful photo. I love driving alone, listening to tunes. I get lost in thought.

Thank you for sharing about all the H words. I love learning about poetry. Now, if only I could write some 🙂

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23 Ben March 3, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Makes me eager to go on a long drive. Haven’t done that in a long time. I love the feeling of solitude, beauty, and the open road. Beautiful picture as well.

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24 Cathy @ All I Want To Say March 3, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I feel your anxiety – been there so many times. I’ve never heard of a Haibun – thanks for the introduction – beautifully done.

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25 Fr. Michael March 3, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Love that picture…and the haibun. I’ve never heard of a haibun. Thanks for introducing it to me.

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26 violet March 3, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Haibun is a new form for me. I like what you did with it. The haiku at the end gives a nice contrast to the prose beginning, giving a feeling of all put right again.

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27 Molly@Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce March 4, 2011 at 3:54 am

I love the haibun too. This was really lovely, and the photo you chose really complemented your words as well. Thanks for expanding my poetic knowledge!

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28 Jingle Poetry March 7, 2011 at 7:40 am

cute piece…

Please feel free to share 1 to 3 poems with our potluck poetry today, first time participants could use old poems or poems unrelated to our theme, Thanks..
Happy Monday!

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29 Steve Isaak March 8, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Great road tripp-y work. Made me smile, remember fun hours. Thanks for that.

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