Great, I wrote it a little while ago, if in case if you did not find it, here it is 5 ways to overcome fear . I like the topics you choose, something new and different perspective to learn. Thanks.

@Lauren, thank you for sharing your friend’s story. Remarkable. You said the all-time key word for me: CHOOSE. It’s such a robust word and I prefer it over ACT or ACTION because we’re always choosing. Even when we think we’re not choosing, we are. Good point about not wanting to trust everyone. Ideally, I’d like to believe I’d want to, but where I am right now, I don’t see it working that way. I love your point about putting yourself outside of your comfort zones. I admit, I don’t do it as often as it would benefit me. Very interesting idea about the Halloween party; would be an excellent conversation starter. Thanks for adding to the conversation.

@Zengirl, hey there! Thank you for chiming in. I’d be interested to read your post. Take care.

@Liberty, the will to live is awe-inspiring. Thanks for joining the discussion.

@Malo, I think it’s a paradox. We’re all fragile in that we all bruise and break and get damaged, and yet we’re all strong in that it takes a lot to knock us down and keep us down for good.

A few days ago, someone reminded me that all people are fragile. Sometimes we forget this, especially when we see someone so confident, bold, loud, or aggressive. Like you said, we all feel hurt, and struggle, and insecure, and fear, and pretend… we all need to be loved.

Love begets love. Your courageous friend is wise enough to know how to cope where most people can’t. She’s spreading love, and getting love in return. God bless her for being a source of inspiration to most of us.

My most heart breaking experience was when my dad passed away. Looking back I don’t how I survived it. I only know that there was a supernatural being (God) that was there for me. He must have given me the inner strength. Who else?

It is touching story, I have been there. I wrote about fear while ago on my blog too, as fear holds us back from living our best. Insightful!

Thanks for another thought-provoking post. I also have a close friend whose young daughter died not long ago. My friend’s response has been amazing. Naturally she has been devastated, but her strength and choice to love rather than become embittered has been remarkable to behold.

I always knew she was amazing, but this really showed her resilient spirit in the most profound way. She is my hero. She chooses to live too. As she says, she will not allow her life to be ruled by this. My friend has chosen to help others. Through the pain we shared moments of laughter and song.

I agree we have “masks” to protect us, yet I take such pleasure in interacting so deeply and profoundly with those I CHOOSE to completely let in. I have the good fortune of having several friends where I feel we let our hair down and relax into being our most authentic selves.

Sometimes it is because I choose to not let someone that close. It takes a level of trust. I admit I don’t want to trust everyone.

Still, your questions at the end of the post are powerful. I know there are times I have remained hidden out of fear, insecurity, or not wanting to be judged. That’s why I like to put myself in situations out of my comfort zone at times. I love to do things that I don’t know how to do (with others who are great at it) or attend events where I know no one. It is ever so good practice.

I remember many years ago I was going to attend a Halloween party and I thought I wonder what it would be like to go as myself. By that I mean to go and have no mask at all, to be transparent. My sense was that this would be a great challenge, but one worth practicing.

Love your posts, Belinda!
Lauren

Thank you for a beautifully written meditation on light, love and authenticity. You friend’s experience was so powerful and her response shows that even in the darkest hour, every person can find their inner light. I marvel at how resilient we are when it really matters – and how love and compassion shine through. Your wish that we could be more authentic and open every day with everyone we meet is not an impossible one. It takes practice to open up, to go against orthodoxy and share in public. I try to do this as much as possible and have found nothing but the most amazing response when I’ve tried.

As for fear – well that is a whole nest of vipers in itself! I love Marianne Williamson – “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate – it is that we are more powerful than we can possibly imagine”. This is the bedrock for transcending and unleashing the amazing light that shines inside. Thanks again,

Phil

@BK, great point. At what point, if ever, do the face we see in the mirror and the face that greets others, become one. When we’re very young, they’re one and the same. But at some point, these personas diverge in the name of maturity, toughening up, societal mores, yada yada. Clearly, the journey doesn’t end there because we come upon the same kind of emptiness again and again as we follow this safe and accepted path, a path that makes us search for something more. Thank you.

@Tracy, it sounds simplistic but I suspect to be true that once we begin to examine, we’ll find that what keeps our light from shining is none other than ourselves. Thanks.

@Patty, thank you! I’m sorry about your hearing loss. Any suffering is suffering to the sufferer. I used to compare degrees of suffering, thinking one deserved more sympathy than the other. But when I needed sympathy, whadaya know? I learned that measuring degrees of sympathy-worthy suffering is no way to be sympathetic. Thank you for sharing and taking the time to comment.

@Eva, you’re absolutely right. We all need to work on this. Yet another proof that we’re all in this together. And yes, that careful veneer is pretty hard to knock down. Funny how that works. Thanks.

@Nicki, I love how you put that: “If we accepted one another as the damaged people we are – damaged as in hurt, pretending, not authentic – fear would not be as controlling as it is.” Somehow I think it’s beautiful that we’re all these walking damaged creatures, broken in different yet somehow similar parts. As for success, change and fear, ahh, a very intriguing cycle (that really can come together in any order, no?) worth exploring. Thank you.

@Keith, you’re right. As many words as there are, sometimes, none fits. And this ties in to why we need to become more adept at connecting not just on a verbal level but also on a relational level. Thanks.

@Greg, welcome to The Halfway Point! Thank you for your comment. You know, you’re right. The fears really don’t matter and shouldn’t hold us back. And yes, there’s something to be said for mirroring someone when we communicate. When we can create an environment that leads others toward depth instead of treading the usual inch-deep surfaces, then I’d call that a few steps forward.

@Patty, great point: “We’re not taught to value the kind of interaction you had, nor do we learn how to make it happen.” I love that you bring up myth, stories, poetry, art, nature as I still think they’re timeless, though one might think they’re being replaced by reality shows. And I do think blogging is a bit like that where we open ourselves up as bloggers and see what reactions we get or don’t get. As for the art of listening and speaking without pretense, I’d say this is worth cultivating. Thank you.

@Hulbert, I love that even though this post made you sad, you were able to ultimately find inspiration in it. And while I’m addressing you, allow me to say again how inspired I am by your story. Folks like you who can not only convey in an uncomplicated, understandable way a condition that is largely foreign to most, but also get beyond it on a daily basis, make me hopeful. Thank you.

@BigLittleWolf, ah yes, building trust! That is a great reason to make peeling the layers worthwhile. I’m totally with you on honoring and respecting our multi-dimensionality. The quirks that add texture to make us us; the fun and lite side, the sulking and morose side, the feeling and thinking side, the glam diva side — I don’t see myself giving them up anytime soon. Thank you.

@Joy, welcome to The Halfway Point! You’re welcome, and thank you for visiting.

@Aidan, to the first paragraph of your very eloquent comment I say, me, too! I left a comment on someone’s blog recently and said that blogging and reading blogs has become a way to nourish my mind and heart. Hitting that “publish” button has become not only an act of faith but also an exercise in letting go for me. But reading blogs where I connect beyond the pixelated words, pretty awesome. Thanks for adding me to your blogroll. Yours is one of my favorites, too.

@Rudri, I share your doubts and remain hopeful that our common thread is strong enough to bring us at least glimmers of truth, as difficult as it is to take at times.