As someone who has definite obsessive-compulsive tendencies, I cling to consistency like a life vest. I need routine to feel safe and comfortable (even while recognizing that routine, safety, and comfort are not the greatest catalysts for deep reflection and art). I often feel more hurt than is actually called for when someone behaves in an inconsistent manner toward me. I had always blamed my over-reaction on my own unfairly high standards, but your post has got me thinking about whether an expectation of consistency is even feasible.

I agree with Big Little Wolf that consistency is vital to parenting – as it was to me as a teacher – so I think I will continue to strive for it, even if you’ve helped me to realize what I’m up against.

It’s great for me to read because although I can be zany, I strive to be consistent with my friends and in life. Sometimes, though, I do laugh at myself because as you point out, we are not always consistent.

We are odd creatures, we are, and who we were yesterday doesn’t necessarily reflect who we are today. Unless, that is, we remain stagnant as a pool of “dead” water. Not a pleasant thought!

I think for me it was tied into this perfectionism I had when I was in my 20’s. I tried to be perfect. Fortunately, I awakened to what a joke – and burden that was.

Consistency does rather fall into THAT category, does it not?

I love how you have taken a light and shined it upon this topic. It helps me to reflect more deeply on this significant area of life.

Thanks so much!
Lauren

First, I love the picture you chose to include with this post!

Consistency is definitely a tricky issue.

One of the things that comes to mind is that I think there is a difference between consistency and perfection. Everything is not always going to work out despite our best efforts.

Perhaps the focus should be on consistently doing the best we can. I think this is really all we can ever ask of ourselves.

I think consistency is something to strive for, to work toward. But we should remember to be forgiving of ourselves when we waver.

This is just food for thought, but what keeps coming up for me regarding consistency has to do with our values; the beliefs that comprise our own personal moral compass. We all have these value systems and they tend to influence how we expect people to behave or even how we live our lives.

I think consistency is very possible when values are also consistent. However, the opposite can lead to what appears to be inconsistency, but which is actually a conflict of values.

For example, I value kindness and will be kind to most people, except for those I perceive as being unfair. In this situation, I may react strongly and even be unkind. If you don’t have that same value, I’m pretty sure I will appear inconsistent.

I simply think we must consider consistency within the multitude of beliefs/values that people hold. When these values bump into each other, it can make it very hard to be consistent or even to expect it from others around us. Just something to think about:~)

As usual, great post!!!

In parenting, consistency is very important. But none of us is perfect. This is one of the reasons that when I make a promise, I qualify it with “if I possibly can.” Nine times out of ten there is no problem. I have delivered on my word. If for some reason I cannot, I haven’t broken my word, and I’ve shown my children that good intentions and plans cannot always yield the desired result.

When it comes to other areas of human endeavor and relationships, there are so many factors constantly changing – inside of us and external to us – with everything from some measure of control to none at all. The result? We can strive for consistency as you say, and we may succeed at being reasonably consistent much of the time. And I really think that’s as good as it gets.

I do believe it is possible to provide consistent quality within a certain range – whether it is work product or service. And I think it’s reasonable to expect it, keeping in mind that things happen which are outside anyone’s control.

You always have such a great take on fascinating topics. For me, the only way to be consistent is to act authentically. If I’m acting with integrity, I strive to be consistent to the world around me. Does this mean I’m always consistent – no way! I join you as a walking talking inconsistency. Do I get down on myself or others about this – NO! If we accept who we are and what we do, we need to accept that others will be inconsistent and let us down / act crazy sometimes too. Learning to take that on the chin and be cool with it is probably as close as I can get to consistency and authenticity. Great post!

Phil

At the risk of sounding too philosophical I would say that Consistency and Inconsistency are a duality of existence evident in all life. I think that our very own survival makes a certain kind of inconsistency a natural blueprint of what just IS. At the same time, it is true that life as we know it would crumble had it not been for a certain kind of consistency that underlies all.

I hope i am making sense

After reading such a great post, i am at a loss of words to express the thing that your words have shed light upon, in my heart. If by any chance, i find a better way to express i will not mind a second shot at rendering my thoughts.