I have to believe that fostering an environment in which our children can safely ask questions is one way to promote peace in our homes and in their futures.

Unfortunately, my mind doesn’t do simplistic. I still recall things from my childhood while the US was in Vietnam vividly. The Lt. Calley and the My Lai Massacre, American flag-draped caskets coming home to Dover Air Base, stories from those I knew who served. For years I would not watch a war movie. It took a good friend to loan me a few before I watched movies that are not war movies but contain war. I just couldn’t do it.

I also vividly remember 9/11/2001. I remember everything about that day – where I was, what I was doing, trying to postpone a meeting to stay home and watch the news, looking for a friend’s name as I was unsure if his transfer had gone through yet and did not know if he was in one of the Towers. The only differences between war and 9/11 were some of my perspectives because of being a parent now.

I agree with others that your answers for your three -year-old were wonderful. I think it’s also very interesting that he asked these questions. It shows a mind that is willing to contemplate the polarities in our human nature.

I think there’s a part of us that needs this polarity if only to find our balance:~)

I ponder war and peace often. I remember starting in jr. high I had a problem saying the pledge to the flag. It is not that I don’t love and appreciate the United States. I do. It’s just that I could not pledge my allegiance blindly to every act, regardless of what act might be committed.

Personally I love the freedom flag the most. Honoring all countries, being a world citizen.

With that said, I have what is probably a very unpopular perspective. I believe there is likely to always be war, as there is darkness to light. It provides contrast. Both war and peace seem to be embedded in the human psyche.

Still, I will place my chips in the peace arena. My hope is to create peace in my interpersonal relationships and with all those whom I come in contact with.

I love your response to your son! No easy answers are there? I love the way you embrace these deeper issues and address them.

@Justin, always good to hear your thoughts. Thanks for weighing in.

@Tony, all good questions. And like you, I get stuck not so much on the definition but on the practice. We have a few examples of peaceful revolutions in our history but they really do pale in comparison to the bloodbath that we seem to habitually get ourselves into. Wanting to be right is a really big deal to a lot of people. I know I fall into that trap many more times than I’d like. I don’t know any other way to see fighting a war to achieve peace as anything other than hypocritical, though I can see how that would seem to be a limited view to some. Thanks for the conversation.

@Nadia, thank you! Wanting to be right versus wanting to be happy does seem to be a real struggle for many and I love the point you make about being awake to our connectedness. This is a theme I come back to all the time in my 30s. Separateness is a farce in many ways; none of us gets anywhere in life alone. None. And yet so many of us have blatant disregard for our commonalities and indisputable interdependence. Laways great to see you here.

@Fr. Michael, I love that Cherokee legend as it covers many of my buzz words. I’ve never heard it before. I’m familiar with these wolves and I sure hope I can recognize which wolf I’m feeding : ) Thanks right back atcha.

@Greg, thank you. I agree, love trumps all and it feels great to be saying this from experience.

@Eva, it’s amazing how the questions from my son are actually more energizing than overwhelming or enervating. For now, at least. The little ones add so much fullness to everyday life. “The Pacific” sounds like good tv. I am unequivocally anti-war and am convinced that most people would rather stay as far away from it as possible (could be naive of me to think so). Yet its frequent occurrence despite the gravity of its effects compels me to consider if there’s any justifiable good that comes from it despite the loss of dutiful (military/militia, etc.) and innocent lives. Thanks for your insight.

@Mimidsay, hello there. Haven’t seen either. Thanks for the recommendations and for stopping by.

@Baker, ahh, happy childhood memories are priceless and I’m happy to have helped invoke a few. Many thanks for your kind words.

@Madeleine, good to see you here again. Yes, you bring up a gray, gray area. I, too, hold human rights in the highest regard, and yet I wonder if slavery could’ve ended with a peaceful war. Gandhi comes to mind as the best example for non-violence. The People Power Revolution in the 80s in the Philippines also comes to mind which stopped a civil war before it began. And, Speaker Pelosi at an event the other night reminded me of the Tank Man in Tiananmen Square who stopped the advance of tanks by standing in front of them. These are tiny little glimmers of hope in history that show that there are non-violent ways to resolve a conflict. We could use more examples, though, but who will initiate them and how?

@Patty, I agree, war: unequivocally bad; peace: unequivocally good. And yet. As I mentioned in my comments above, there’s proof in history that conflict can be resolved through non-violence. My possibly naive self keeps hoping that we can evolve toward this. If it’s possible in rare cases, perhaps it can be possible in more cases in the future. And thanks for the thanks. It makes me very happy to know that I’ve lifted you up today.

@BigLittleWolf, I was supposed to be on a plane to NY that day. So many memories from that day are either blocked out or fuzzy. Who can blame us?

Of all the things my children asked about over the years, I don’t think they ever asked about peace, or war, specifically. Yet they must have asked something about war – they both watched 9/11 happen on tv, in elementary school, as it was happening. I wonder if I have blocked out that time, those questions.