Comments on: Can a Marriage Last These Days?

By: Belinda Munoz

Belinda Munoz — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 02:13:54 +0000

Hi Therese, welcome to The Halfway Point via Rob! I loved reading about what you and your husband do to stay connected and engaged in your relationship. I’m particularly inspired by #4. I can’t say that we’re in the habit of surprising each other (i have difficulty pulling that off because I have trouble keeping things from him) but what we do is we leave plenty of room for spontaneity.

Glad you stopped by and hope to see you again soon.

By: Therese Miu

Therese Miu — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 23:16:43 +0000

Hi Belinda,
I found you through http://mindadventure.com/blog/ I was browsing through your post and saw this. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I have been with my partner for almost 10 years. Here are just little things we do to to spark and ignite our passion:
1.) We tell each other how much we appreciate each other (Thank you for taking out the trash to the big things thank you for taking care of our son) this is everyday.
2.) We write love letters (cheesy I know but we’ve been doing it for so long)
3.) We are gentle with ourselves (not that much fight but when we do we talk about uit right away)
4.) We surprise each other all the time. I have told him “get ready, I’m taking you out hiking Let’s go!”
Not sure where our path may lead us and it has by no far has been perfect. I think the important key thing is to keep learning & growing. I had few patches I had to take care of, few pains I had to uncover (my last relationship before my husband he took off to Korea with his ex). There’s always going to be bumps on the road. But it is great to know you can always clothe it with love, approach it with patience, and cultivate creativity to make your own relationship work and achieve homeostasis.

Thanks for this lovely and thoughtful post. I have questioned about this for so long and as soon as I see my own parents and grandparents happily married any hints of doubts disappears and I just trust in faith to move forward, onward, and upward.
Thanks Belinda.

By: Aileen

Aileen — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 18:55:43 +0000

Other than my parents I don’t know couples who have had a long marriage. Sadly many around me make it from 1 to 9 years before divorce. I do believe they can last and we beautiful. I’m only 7 months into marriage and I hope to see it be 50 years one day (If he & I live that long).
I would love for same sex marriages to be legal everywhere
& I’ve happily danced drunk at weddings

I enjoyed this thought provoking post of yours.

By: Justine

Justine — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 17:00:44 +0000

I want to believe, Belinda, that marriages can last, even if my own didn’t. And that was why I left it – because I went looking for one I wanted to stay in for the rest of my life. Although I’ve found this with My Guy, I am not married to him and we’re perfectly content that way. That piece of paper isn’t going to buy us everlasting happiness. Hard work and love will, and so I will focus my energy on that rather than fretting the details on the “special day” and that piece of paper. I’m not against it by any means – it has just fallen off my life’s priority list. It’s funny but I still have family back home who are going through arranged marriages and seem perfectly fine with that. They’re my age. While I balk at that, it’s something they’re comfortable with since my culture values loyalty in marriages above love. And divorces are taboo. And that may be why I’m happier here. Sure, the divorce rates are higher, but we are also more in control of our own destiny and less concerned with making decisions based on what society thinks about us here. It’s bad in that it means people may choose divorce at the drop of a hat, but it’s good for those in terrible relationships that they can get out of it with relative ease. As with everything – two sides to every coin.

By: Being Present Versus Being There — the halfway point

Being Present Versus Being There — the halfway point — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 11:44:26 +0000

[...] I said in my last post, my in-laws had their fiftieth anniversary fete this past weekend. I had looked forward to [...]

By: Justin Dupre

Justin Dupre — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 04:58:02 +0000

Nice post! Divorce rate is sure a big issue. I do know a few people who been married for over 50 years. They still hold hands and go out on dates… I think married can still last these days with a strong understanding, trust and communication. I hope this problem will get better in the next few years. Thanks for sharing Belinda.

By: Tess The Bold Life

Tess The Bold Life — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 19:18:50 +0000

Belinda,
Got married 17 and pregnant, 4 kids by 22 yrs old, 3rd pregnancy twins one without most of her right hand. It should have been a disaster. We are closing in on 39 years. What made it work. Not giving up, a ton of forgiveness and compromise. Therapy. Support groups. Parenting classes. Friends who helped. My m0m who really helped when they were young. Commitment.

I’m not against divorce or same sex marriages. I am against affairs. I’m not so sure I could forgive that. When we were very young we promised each other if we wanted out we’d tell each other before sleeping with someone else. We felt we owed each other that. I think people succeed and get into power and forget what’s important. I don’t understand why some want a lover and a spouse on the side. Don’t get it. Never will. Oh and I forgot we talk about the difficult stuff the ugle stuff and the stuff we want to throw under the rug. It all shrinks just bringing it to the light. There is no perfect relationship. Never. Nunca. None. There are just flawed humans that want their needs met. But when we meet the other’s needs first it all works out in the end. Congratulations to your parents.

By: Jana @ Attitude Adjustment

Jana @ Attitude Adjustment — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 12:44:40 +0000

I read this post and quickly added you to my Google Reader. What a smart blog you have!

I am often more shocked by the divorces that happen in the first couple of years than the ones that are longer. Isn’t that strange? (Though I am surprised about the Gores.) I have known a couple of people who got divorced within a short time of getting married. It seems to get harder, maybe even more boring, as it goes along, and then I assume there are moments of utter calm, peace, and comfort.

My husband and I have committed to each other for life, and that’s how it will be. I don’t just say it or believe it, I feel it deep in my gut.

By: Tony Single

Tony Single — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 12:49:17 +0000

Belinda, there’s no way that me and Cass have the perfect marriage (not even close) but here’s the thing… it works for us. There’s nothing I can point out to explain why, except perhaps for the phrase “for better or for worse”.

Over the years, Cassy has seen me at my absolute worse, and I have seen her at hers; those times have never been pleasant for either of us. But perhaps because we love each other to bits that neither of us has been willing to walk away from this special bond that we’ve entered into.

Lest that sound like grandstanding, it’s not. Our marriage has sometimes been an incredibly brutal testing ground over the years (and usually because of the depression I go through), but I honestly can’t imagine being with anyone else. Those tough times aside, I do feel a sense of belonging and even joy whenever she’s around, and I can be confident that she feels the same way about me.

I would be a crazy man to ever be ungrateful for the love that she has given me, so I can fully understand same sex couples wanting to have marriage equality in the US and even here in Australia.

By: Roman Soluk

Roman Soluk — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 09:54:55 +0000

In my opinion, everything depends on the attitude of both husband and wife to their family, marriage. Besides – their relationship. Yes, I believe that nowadays marriage can still last despite all social problems.

And I know such people who are married for a long time.