*I am participating in Momalom’s Five for Five Challenge. Today’s topic is change.
Nothing that is can pause or stay;
The moon will wax, the moon will wane,
The mist and cloud will turn to rain,
The rain to mist and cloud again,
Tomorrow be today.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Change, anyone?
Collectively, democratic nations vote a resounding yes time and time again as they wish to see more equality, more progress and more opportunities for all. Dreams of economic stability, health care, or expanded opportunities for under-served communities come to the fore and voters send ineffective leaders packing, in favor of public servants who show promise of delivering the goods. In the context of a democratic election (we hope), the will of the people brings about change.
On a personal level, change does not always get the thumbs up.
CHANGE WE WANT
Some changes are welcome.
A winning lottery ticket to a single mother of six? A college acceptance letter to the first born in a family living in a trailer? Employment for someone who has been out of work for months? Pop the Dom Perignon cork — change is a-coming!
If our subconscious and conscious minds are in agreement, we are able to manifest some of these welcome changes that lead us closer to happiness, self-actualization or however we may call the path that suits us the most.
If we are being honest with ourselves, chances are there is at least a thing or two we wish to change about ourselves, our situations, our behaviors and our practices, our local communities, our world. I’d like to believe that some of it is a) possible, b) can happen in my lifetime and c) can happen because of my direct actions. Maybe so.
CHANGE WE DON’T WANT
Other changes are much harder to accept.
Losing a loved one? Getting bad news from a doctor’s visit? Ending a long-term romantic relationship? Each instance of these feels like a blow that knocks us off-balance and guarantees an upheaval that will require time, willingness and help to recover.
And we definitely do have the potential to recover.
ADAPTABILITY
As human beings, we are wired to be adaptable. Our bodies go through a metamorphosis from birth to adulthood and we become accustomed to all the drastic physical changes we go through over time. We survive the trauma of puberty and come out the other end looking taller, less awkward and sporting curves or strong musculature.
Our brains’ neuroplasticity enables us a lifetime capacity for learning and making sense, as much as we can, of our environment and of ourselves.
Our hearts and spirits? If you’re anything like me who lets one’s heart lead the mind, chances are the process of adapting to change is largely emotional, likely with soulful meanderings and detours along a scenic route with frequent stops for a re-charge. It can be an exhausting, erratic ride coming to terms with a new situation, a new environment, a new reality. But eventually, it becomes the new normal.
DEALING WITH CHANGE?
Thumbs up or thumbs down to change?
I’d like to say I’m neutral on the matter but the truth is, my first reaction to any sort of change is anything other than neutrality.
Change has left me breathless, confused, enlightened, inspired, depressed, you name it.
There are many things, people, circumstances I hope will never change. But I know they will.
Likewise, there are many things around which I impatiently wait for change to come. Those, I know, will change, too.
Because isn’t that how it goes? Change has been our constant companion since birth and it isn’t showing any signs of leaving us alone. Moments pass. Friends come and go. Spring turns to summer. Children grow.
We have an intuitive knowledge that everything changes even if our conscious mind may kick and scream this unyielding truth under the table.
Change is inevitable. The most one can do is, to borrow words from Madonna, dance and sing, get up and do your thing.
And if change continues to prove far too unwieldy to embrace, let’s at least hope we are present as someone to embrace another, to offer and receive solace and support, when change comes.
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Do changes that happen to you change you?
Or do you change due to a change that impacts you?
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*The five for five Momalom challenge entails posting once each day for five days in response to five topics: change, words, pictures, age, listening.
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I think my problem with change is that I just have this desire to CONTROL everything. I need to find ways to just let go.
WORD. You and me both, sister.
When confronted with change, I curl up and resist with everything I’ve got. I think I just need time to absorb everything before I’m ready to look it straight in the face.
There’s no point in writing my own comments when these are so good. YES, Stacia. Me, too.
“Change has been our constant companion since birth and it isn’t showing any signs of leaving us alone.” I think giving in is important, though of course that’s so very difficult when the changes are unexpected. Or unpleasant. Thanks so much for joining in. I am in awe of your comprehensive exploration of “change!”
I am at odds with myself most of the time. I know change is good and I welcome it, but when it does happen, I fight it or it takes me awhile to recover. Like my new work/mom-at-home status. I love it, yet I can’t seem to fully embrace it as I wait for the other shoe to drop. I don’t even know what spurs this unsettled feeling.
Always lovely to read your words Belinda – refreshing, thought-provoking, lyrical. Glad that 5 for 5 brought me back here.
I am feeling good, and inspired, about change these days. This hasn’t always been the case though. I have stumbled upon a theory I think I believe in: The quality of our lives is directly (and elusively) related to how we react to, and cope with, the constant that is change. What do you think?
Beautiful post. Happy to be here reading.
xo
Wise words, change is our constant companion since birth and when we embrace it, the change can be our salvation. Love the post, Belinda .
Knowing that change is constant and that things tomorrow could be drastically different than today often leaves me feeling completely overwhelmed. Like, how do I know that I’m taking the right steps if no one can promise me the goal will still be there in the morning? I’m guessing that’s normal … right?
Oh yes – I know quite well that change happens whether we like it or not, whether we want it or not. But the thing is, at first blush, change that appears to be devastating can bring renewed growth. Take for example a forest fire – killing all that lives only to bring new, more vibrant growth after the healing is done. That is the best kind of change and one which I personally hope for – always.
I think the following words are so important:
“And if change continues to prove far too unwieldy to embrace, let’s at least hope we are present as someone to embrace another, to offer and receive solace and support, when change comes.”
We know change will come. Even if we resist it. The best salve is having someone to lean into when those changes are too unbearable.
Intellectually I know that change is constant, an overall good, and a reality of the human condition.
But I react terribly to it. If a friend were to say “hey, let’s hop on a plane to Hawaii tonight. I’ve paid for everything and taken care of your children and your client work so there’s no reason to say no,” I’d still say no. Then call back for details hours later. Then agree in a week.
I’m not happy about how many of my friends are fighting cancer. I’m not happy about how many changes are out of my control. And I’m not happy that I’m not doing a good job on the changes I should be able to control.
But I do love the reminder that what helps make change seem normal, positive, and good is interpersonal relationships. Thank you for this post.
I face change head-on, that’s always been my big M.O.
There is simply no escaping it.
A nice read, high-quality stuff. I’ll be back