Who cares?
It appears to be a flippant question, doesn’t it? Like the person asking it really means, “It doesn’t make a difference to me or anybody”.
If they don’t play nice, what they really mean to say is, “Shut up already and just do it,” a la Nike gone crusty. One can usually tell by the tone.
Or worse, if they’re downright cantankerous, they don’t bother with code words and simply growl, “Cut the bs and stop wasting my time!”
No matter. There are good reasons to ask the question. Care to know what they are?
IT’S NOT A RHETORICAL QUESTION
More often than not, it’s a valid question that deserves to be answered.
Say, if someone really wants to sing but they can’t carry a tune, who cares? Shouldn’t they sing their heart out anyway since it’s good for the lungs and the vocal chords and will make them happy? Asking this little query reminds us of the breadth of our freedom and validates the point that one should be free to do what one wants barring no harm is done to any human or animal. Cringing doesn’t count.
IT’S GOOD TO KNOW WHO CARES
It’s helpful, encouraging and possibly motivating to know if the answer is everyone, or at least almost everyone. Like when it comes to war and peace. Or good and evil. Or laughing and crying. Or living and dying.
Knowing who cares gives us a reason to do what we do. Be how we be. Even if the answer is no one. Even if the answer is no one but you. Especially if the answer is no one but you.
IT’S HOPEFUL TO ASK WHO CARES
We all do it. Even those of us who fancy ourselves carefree care to some degree about some things.
At the heart of this question is an innate capacity we all share: to care deeply. Not just about little things, which we do (and who cares?), but also about things not so little. Things that truly do matter, or even things that perhaps ultimately won’t matter.
The way it’s played out in history, caring has worked wonders to evolve humanity.
Consider the suffragists. Yes, many of their methods of protest were questionable. Some of them even wrote and said things that can be easily construed as racist. But without their persistence, sacrifice and commitment to speak up, to be counted, to be heard and heard loudly, where would our voting rights be today?
As long as we have this deep-seated impulse to care, about anything, even if it may appear to be terribly selfish and petty, there remains hope that we’ll care enough beyond our individual selves. Beyond our immediate circles. Beyond our circles’ circles. Toward those who are neglected. Left behind. Suffering beyond imagination. Over there and not here. Ready and waiting to know and feel that someone cares.
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Who cares? Do you ask this question? If so, about what? Is it worth asking? Is the answer worth knowing? Can it be known? Is it predictable? Is it a surprise? Six degrees of separation doesn’t seem like much, does it? And yet, is it? Is it worth caring about coming full circle? Is it helpful or harmful to think in terms of “us” and “them”?
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Image by TravelingMan
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s good to know who cares, says it best!
I like to think of it as value is in the eye of the beholder and it’s important to know if the value is for you or other people or both.
Hey Belinda,
Thanks for the post.
I like the following attitude:
“I’m going to care no matter who else cares or not.”
If somebody doesn’t care, they are completely free to feel that way. However, I think it’s best to spend as little time as possible on these people. Instead, I would seek out the people that do care and generate momentum together with them.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are not going to care about things they probably should care about. Instead of getting really angry with them (since it’s very unlikely to make them change), perhaps immediately forgiving them and moving on is the most productive thing to do.
Fortunately, some people will care and a few people working together can accomplish extraordinary things.
That phrase can be so hurtful. I use it, often in jest, but I should be more careful in my word choice.
Thank you for this insightful post. Your questions made me think about my own tendency to care too much. I often become hypersensitive and give too much weight to certain words and deeds in a world full of flippancy. To me, asking the question “Who cares?” might actually be a way to protect and empower myself.
Yes, humans have a great capacity for compassion and caring. It is amazing how even children inherently care for one another, comfort one another.
I love what you wrote about someone singing, even if no one cares. Sometimes it’s just fine if no one else cares.
And on the flip side, when we see someone else in pain, just expressing that we care can be very powerful. Just our presence and the thought of comfort can help.
We can care about without caring for! I always care even when I try to believe otherwise.
Wow. Great question. Once again my mind goes to the prison and working with inmates. Many times I have sat with inmates who had NO ONE who cared. No family, no friends.
While I know there were often “reasons” for this, I found it heartbreaking. Imagine living a life in which no one cares! Unimaginable to me.
Although I have always appreciated having people who do care, my experiences of sitting with those who have no one really brought home to me just how much I do have.
Caring is everything. I feel it is what makes life an outrageously magnificent gift. LOVE.
I had this reminder just last night visiting friends and listening to a beloved friend as she delved into a deeply significant issue and she, her girlfriend, and myself laughed and cried together.
This is the best of caring. Upliftment.
Thank you once again Belinda for bringing us home to caring!
Excellent point Belinda!
There’s 2 ways to ask “Who cares?” One could make it as a dry statement from a nonchalant standpoint and one can ask it in pursuit to find someone who actually does care. We should ask ourselves who cares? And more importantly, “what really matters?”
Great article, thanks for sharing!!
Your friend,
Jarrod
I have often found myself reciting the negative, mind numbing mantra “nobody cares”. Unfailingly though, as soon as I shift the focus elsewhere, the Universe proves me wrong: A message will appear in my voice box; a Gift or card arrives; someone who is in need reaches out to me and I respond without even thinking–I come to the realization that “I do” “I care!”. Its the simple rule of karma. Care and we will be cared about! It may not be obvious at first, but if we keep our eyes open we will see this!
Smiles, and thank you to Belinda for urging forth these insights !
Nancy
I care.
Even when I don’t want to, so that the pain will stop. It can be painful feeling like the only one who cares about what I do. Especially in light of the cold, hard fact that world will keep on turning after I die. It’ll be like I never existed. Me and the fact that I cared.
Man, that sounded doomy and pessimistic, didn’t it? I should’ve left it at the first two words! 😛
My friends and I in high school used to say that all the time, “who cares?” We really felt like nobody did. Just so you and everyone else knows…I care!
Belinda,
My four year old sometimes says, “I don’t care.” I always admonish her when she says it, because I think it is one of the most hurtful things to say about yourself or to others.
As far as the phrase, “Who cares?” God cares, family cares, friends care and the list can go on and on. I think when we are feeling down and depressed, it is easy to think, no one cares. I think it is the self-pity in us that leads us down that road. There is someone in everyone’s life that cares. Always.
Belinda,
Sounds like a major transition that you are entering in at the moment. i could be wrong, but I feel a sense of letting go of something that no longer serves you that you’ve been holding on to for sometime. This earth is going through a major shift in consious awareness at the moment and you describe it here perfectly in asking “who cares” as many lightworkers are asking this same question during this time. All is well, you are being guided. 🙂
Belinda — You are one of the most creative bloggers I know regarding your topics. I loved the picture in this one. My first though was…this is a BOLD statement!!
You are so right that we often think of “Who cares?” in a flippant way, but it is a very relevant question. I loved how you walked me through why it’s a relevant question.
When I think of the question, “Who cares?” I want to say “I do.” I don’t always act on this answer, but perhaps that’s something I need to work on…and it’s not BIG things. For example, who cares that the store clerk is grumpy and unhelpful? After all, it is his or her job to help me.
If I do care, however, I can choose to let the grumpiness go or even ask, “Are you feeling okay?” Who knows what that person’s story is???
I know I’ve said this before, but thank you for making me think about this…you always make me think:~)