When was the last time you declared a Feel Good Day?
What? Never? Well, it’s not too late!
Truth be told, this little inspiration whacked me in the rear when I found myself having a mini-meltdown one Sunday morning. (I skipped meditation that morning.)
My family of three was set to enjoy an exquisite excursion to Golden Gate Park. We had planned to walk everywhere to spare the air, having made a vow to be good residents of one of the greenest cities in the country.
CURVE BALL
Except, my obsessive tendency got the better of me. I was gripped by a small thing that went missing.
Soon, the minor became major. I turned the house inside out looking for this teeny, tiny thing. Before I knew what was happening, I was tangled up in a woeful round of hide and seek. I’m too embarrassed to say what this tiny thing was. However, I will mention that the cute culprit was someone with equally teeny, tiny hands.
Within minutes, I turned this potentially perfect day into a needlessly awful morning. Husband got out of my way; always a smart move after years of experience. Little guy clung ever-so-close to husband while he ate his snack; a fast learner.
Me?
You’ve heard of the book: When Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy? Well, so have I. You get the picture. But the book I should really read is called: Get Momma a Chill Pill. (I just Google-Binged it. This book has not been written yet so there’s my million dollar idea for the day.)
CHILL PILL TIME
It’s true. When I realized that I had allowed myself to get stressed out, that’s when I knew I was desperate for a perspective check.
So, I pushed the missing object out of my mind (hard for the inherently persnickety, but nonetheless doable), took a deep breath (easy now thanks to regular Hatha yoga classes) and declared the rest of the day Feel Good Day.
And you know what? Once I made a decision, it was that easy.
My son got his happy morning playground time while I read a book on the grass under the blazing sun. Once husband joined us, we strolled through park tunnels and watched svelte skaters skate to swing music in synchronicity. It felt good.
We brunched on the best blueberry pancakes Park Chow had to offer. We fed turtles and koi in the arboretum pond. It felt good.
We ran into an old friend with her toddler and baby and caught up on old times. We scaled the gorgeous grounds of the Japanese Tea Garden; stopped for a pot of sencha tea and a bite of square mochi in the picture perfect tea house. It felt good.
Hours went by effortlessly and the day became exactly how a Feel Good Day should be. The boys, forgiving as always, had forgotten the memory of the crazy-making morning.
Oh, and about the object that was missing? At the end of the day, when the little guy was all tucked in, it turned up next to my evening cup of tea. No muss no fuss. Naturally.
LESSON LEARNED
Breathe.
Chill.
Decide.
Feel Good Day can be any day and everyday; even the ones that start out as Make Family Crazy Day.
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1. How about you? Will you declare a Feel Good Day in your future?
2. What’s your idea of a Feel Good Day?
3. Do you find it easy or hard to have a Feel Good Day when your morning is less than perfect?
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NOTE: I’ve joined the Momalom Five for Ten Challenge. If you’re interested in joining, click here. It’s not too late. This means that from Monday, May 10th through Wednesday, May 19th, I will be posting every other day for ten days. I will be writing about topics that Jen and Sarah, the wonderful women of Momalom have picked: Courage, Happiness, Memory, Lust and Yes. It’s more than you’re used to hearing from me so, please consider yourself warned. At the end of the challenge, I will return to my regular posting schedule.
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Image by tylerdurden1
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Sometimes the best part of the day is the time spent between two long deep breaths. The biggest lesson I have learned is that we owe to ourselves to take time out to chill. We are of no use to anybody else unless you take care of ourselves first.
In my case, I spend all my time sitting around and often wonder if I deserve to give myself time to chill. But I think for me it is important that I try to switch my brain off every now and again. Not easy!
Belinda,
Your description sounded just like me. Searching, frantic, fruitless. I just cannot let it go when something is missing and needs to be found. Actually…scratch that. I used to be like that, but then I had too many kids and now they are the reason I can throw in the towel on the search. However, that doesn’t at all mean I’m satisfied. No. No. It’s just further evidence of my exhaustion. 🙂
But the Feel Good part? Now that, I can do. I mean, that I would like to be able to do, so THAT I will WORK ON.
Thrilled that you’ll be joining Five for Ten! Thanks for the mention. I know we’re gonna have a lot of fun and a lot of great conversation!
I have those feel good days more and more. It definitely is a choice on how you want to perceive the day. I take lessons from my dog. Seriously. She’s laid back and happy for the smallest things. As a matter of fact, I usually start the day by saying, “Let me be the person my dog thinks I am.” Simplicity at it’s best.
Sure I have my bad days, but I also have to own up to – just how much of that might have been my fault, how many little inconsequential things couldn’t I let go of and why in the world did I feel being snarky would keep me in a positive light with my husband….yeah, we all have them. (Hugs)Indigo
Hi Belinda,
I know how skipping meditation can be a “no-no” when you are used to doing it every morning. I feel a lot different when I don’t meditate now that I am so used to it.
Honestly, I think that every day should be a Feel Good Day (though not always a leisure day). I’ve learned this through all of the law of attraction material that I’ve studied over the past three years. The idea is to always reach for feelings that feel better, because we are most likely to bring what we want into our lives when we feel good.
I’ve often noticed that there’s momentum in both the good and bad, the positive and the negative. One happy moment can make your day, but one bad experience can wreck it (if you allow it). Of course, since happiness and sadness are matters of perspective, a single decision can halt or even reverse that momentum.
I tend to look for Feel Good Moments – a walk in the quiet evening after dinner, a shower after getting out of bed in the morning, having a little time to close my eyes and think between periods of work. Little things, but they help.
Oh, how I can relate! I hate misplacing things. It becomes an obsession until I find it. But the funny thing is most things don’t turn up until you stop looking, right?
This is such a great lesson: once you *decide* to have a great day, you will have a great day. The power is in us to turn things around. That is reassuring and powerful and inspiring.
I’d definitely buy your book “Get Momma a Chill Pill”!!
Great story which illustrates we create our reality, with a thought you were full of angst and out of control with another thought you made a choice to let go and have a great day. You created your reality both times, although the latter one may have been more conscious than the first.
Love it, Belinda. I laughed a lot reading this, because you showed so much humanness that we can all relate to. I know I sure can. And in the end, we get smacked in the face with what’s always been there – the power to choose. In a flash we can change things. It seems so simple, yet why oh why do we forget so often? (No answer needed; just a rhetorical question.)
And I was with you every step of the way on that feel good day in the park. I’ve had a few of my own feel good days in GG park. What’s required for me: popping into the de Young to soak up some art, with a little people watching in the cafe. Walking down to the beach, with stops to visit the bison and gaze at the windmill. A stroll along the Ocean Beach promenade, with an optional side trip onto the sand. And absolutely must finish up at the Beach Chalet (but the Park Chalet is OK too in a pinch).
Now that’s one heck of a feel good day!
Obsessed with seeking, not giving up instead of enjoying life, what a great analogy for life really. I too can sometimes take the focus of the most important thing and what a waste that always is. But isn’t it great to be able to come to your senses before it is too late. And as long as we have that skill, at least we can put on the breaks and get back on track. Like Patty I too laughed while I envisioned the rest of the household holding on to each other for support until the hurricane was over. xox Wilma
Belinda, suffering depression the way that I do, I often find that I need to decide against wallowing or fretting, and just distracting myself with something enjoyable instead. Doesn’t always work, but when it does, I guess that’s my way of declaring Feel Good Day. 🙂
Reading a good book with my feet up on the coffee table. A slow ramble about town. Long chats with a friend or family member on the phone. Something new unlocked in a video game. Lying on bed with my favourite music washing over me. Writing and drawing. Spending time with someone else who may be wallowing or fretful too. These are all worthwile activities to me. Positive and life affirming whenever life gets me down.
Hi Belinda,
How are you? I love this post. I used to travel out to Fremont, CA regularly and would always make it a point to visit Golden Gate Park and specifically, the Japanese Tea Garden. Ironically, I always found Left Coast people to be so much more laid back than us New Englanders. I guess, at least in this case, it isn’t always that way. 🙂
I’ve been doing a bit of chillin myself of late having just finished up my 3rd degree. Now I may venture back into the blogging world. Thanks very much for your well wishes a couple of months back. It meant a lot.. Glad to see you’re still cranking out your artistic prose…
Best,
Bob
I am laughing out loud and loving it Belinda. Why, because I just had about an hour of those moments a short time ago today – and it’s my birthday. So, naturally, I have a feel good day planned.
And really, I AM going to turn off the computer and head for a walk on the beach and then to meet friends. I just wanted to give some love to my friends like you first.
So, back to the post. I was looking on my computer for a photo of my Mom and myself as I spontaneously wrote a blog for Mother’s Day, a tribute to my Mom.
I went on my laptop (recently changed to a different laptop – a MAC, lucky me) and alas no photos. Eek…I then went to my old laptop, same thing. Looked everywhere.
Called my best buddy whom had helped me transfer stuff off my old laptop to the new – isn’t he grand – and after a few moments he said there really weren’t many photos on my old laptop to transfer.
Suddenly, I realized, s**t, they are on my home PC. The couple thousand photos I thought I had lost were found in a flash.
Hmm…a humiliating story to share but what the hell. I never claimed to be a techie by ANY stretch of the imagination. 😉
The moral – exactly what you point out. I was already to have a great day and I let this little glitch take over. The best part was as I was experiencing it, I put a time frame and told myself if it was not resolved soon I was going about my day and was willing to have a good time anyway!
You always have a way of telling an entertaining and thought-provoking story at the same time. I’m loving it!
Thanks, Belinda, and have a great weekend.
Fondly,
Lauren
What a delicious post, for so many reasons, Belinda. I recognize myself in that crazy making scenario of some Big Tiny Thing that sets a day off in a totally wrong direction. And the need to regroup.
Feel Good Day. Sounds wonderful.
Whenever I’m feeling stressed out about something (work/life), I take a few hours to myself to disconnect from all of technology (after all, I’m immersed in it all day long). I head out to the beach, take a walk by the pier and just enjoy the view. 10 times out of 10, this works for me.
Then, it’s back to work feeling completely refreshed!
@Tracy, I sometimes wonder how often my brain gets in the way of my good life. Wondering about the brain…gives me a chuckle. I always enjoy hearing your perspective. Thanks.
@Sarah, I can’t even begin to fathom your exhaustion. Feeling good — definitely a worthwhile goal. I’m thrilled to join Five for Ten! Thanks.
@Indigo, oh, those pooches sure are wise, aren’t they? I laughed out loud at your daily intent. If only we could live up to the adoration of our pets. Love seeing you here.
@Greg, I actually thought of you when I wrote that line about meditation. I’m with you on making everyday Feel Good Day. Like you, I wouldn’t necessarily advocate for leisure day everyday especially when we have responsibilities, still, I would recommend a healthy dose of goofing off. Looking forward to your 30-day experiment. Merci!
@Jeffrey, great seeing you here again! I love that you look for those Feel Good Moments in our harried existence. I think our willingness to create more and more of those moments increases as we learn to pay attention to all aspects (mind, body, spirit, relationships, work, play, etc.) of our being. Thanks for stopping by.
@Eva, I couldn’t have said it better myself. The power IS within us to turn things around. Glad to hear I’d have at least one customer! Have a great weekend, my friend.
@Mark, thank you! You’re very wise to point out that the latter thought was more conscious than the first. I’m thinking conscious thought deserves its own post. Thanks for the inspiration.
@Patty, glad to have made you laugh! Yes, the power to choose seems oh so simple but boy, do we trip over ourselves or what! It’s an endlessly fascinating phenomenon — humans with rational thought and the freedom to choose, and yet so often we create much of our own melodrama. And you described the most perfect GG Park day! I’ve made many stops by the bison and the windmill and I’ve had some great daughter-son lunches at the Cliff House followed by a stroll on the beach. Which reminds me, with weather like this, outdoor dining at Park Chalet will be seeing more and more of me! I love that we share so much of the beauty of SF!
@Wilma, you’ve pretty much boiled down what it is to be human in ten words! Glad the hurricane made you chuckle! xoxo
@Tony, I so enjoyed reading your examples of what you do to feel good. All except for the video games. I really need to open up my world there 🙂 Take care.
@Bob, so great to hear from you, my friend! You are an astute New Englander for making time to visit the Golden Gate Park and the Japanese Tea Garden during your trips to the Bay Area. As for the rest of the Left Coast population, sorry to have proven you wrong ;-). Third degree? Congrats! It’s reassuring to hear that the importance of formal education isn’t fading, even though the current trend in the blogs seems to indicate otherwise. I say this as I diligently sock money away for my child’s college fund (after we get through pre-school tuition, etc., etc.). Looking forward to hearing more from you if/when you decide to come out of the blogging hiatus. Take care and be well.
@Lauren, happy birthday! How awesome of you to spread the blogging love on your special day! Glad to have made you laugh and I look forward to reading your Mother’s Day post. By the way, I loved your story and you don’t have to feel humiliated around me! Have a rockin’ b-day, my friend!
@BigLittleWolf, yeah, it must be a feminine gene. Either that or no man will ever admit they’ve done the same. I wish you a Feel Good Day everyday!
@Ricardo, welcome to The Halfway Point! It sounds like you have the right attitude, not to mention the great fortune to be near the beach. And it works 10 times out of 10? You must be in Southern California! It’s so beautiful down there, especially at this time of the year. Great to have met you.
I focus on making every good day Feel Good Day Belinda 🙂 Life’s ups and downs are merely our perspective. We choose the good, bad and in between of each situation. The challenge is when old habits rear their head because they die hard and seem to have a strangle hold on our awareness. I too have my triggers but as I meditate and practice deep breathing I’m able to observe and release feelings more easily.
On a side note that sounds like an awesome day. Looking forward to visiting the Bay Area soon 🙂
It’s so true that once you make the decision it’s easier. I had a feel good day yesterday; just lounged around my apt in my robe, napping, reading and watching tv, before having a long, hot bath in the late afternoon. I was very relaxed by that time and the bath was just the icing on the cake.
Hi Belinda,
Greg Blencoe kindly mentioned both of us in his recent post: 10 Must Read Posts, so I thought I really must visit Belinda!
I really loved this post. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten into a tizzy over – god knows what now – and got into such a stew over it. You’re right to remind us that being happy is just a decision like anything else. Why on earth do we make our lives so difficult when we don’t have too?
Thanks so much for this! Nice connecting with you again.
Angela Artemis
Hi Angela, yeah, that question either stumps us or brings out the philosopher in us. Great to see you here again.
Hi Belinda,
I came here via Positive Waves Baby, and Greg’s recent post on 10 must read posts. I LOVED this story, it was like you’ve been in my house and seen me melting down! Is it wrong of me to say that I’m so glad I’m not alone in this! You have reminded me of the importance of pausing and breathing.
Topi
PS – my husband’s favourite saying is that a happy wife means a happy life! I think your husband might get that 😉
Hi Topi, there does seem to be a universality to having a meltdown! And it sounds like your husband knows exactly how life works! Glad to see you here via Greg’s blog.