I walked into the kitchen this morning and my husband and son were having an exclusive boys-only time. As I entered the room, they looked at me simultaneously; part mischievous, part expecting to be in trouble, and part bracing themselves for any half-clever thing I might say.
To an adoring mother and wife, it’s endearing to watch husband and son, each a version of the other, playing and laughing it up, letting boyish instincts go unchecked, making the most of another rainy spring morning.
THE RUSH
In the background, the iPod played one of my husband’s songs. It’s called The Passing of Time, a mellow oldie that brings back fond memories of weepy audiences cheering for an encore.
Oh, yeah. I recognized a familiar sentiment as I whizzed by the kitchen.
The rush of the day, however, pulled me elsewhere. Away from the boys. Away from the morning. Away from the song.
Rush, rush, rush.
I was a busy bee. I made the stops I needed to make. I checked items off my list. I got to where I needed to go.
Hours passed when, during a silent moment, the darn song reappears. This time, the words replayed in my head in haunting verses with traces of nagging melancholy.
All your doubts and disappointments
Your sorrows and your fears
Your joys and all your glories
Whisper through the years
I should have felt accomplished since I got so much done so early, just like I had planned.
Alas, often, the shoulds are not what is to be.
THE PASSING OF TIME
As the day wore on, the inevitability of the passing of time became harder to ignore. The mood that the song evoked would not leave.
As I reflect on how it followed me throughout the day, I marvel at how I missed the clues.
Husband and son were having a great ol’ time. Why didn’t I join in on the fun?
The Passing of Time, the song, permeated the day. I heard the words. I heard the music. But did I listen to the message? No.
Why was I not present? What did I think was so important? The chores? The grind? The buzzing in my head?
I don’t really have a good answer. I let precious time pass and I regret that.
HOLDING THE MOMENTS CLOSE
At day’s end, when the little guy is all tucked in, I give myself a few minutes to listen to the song one more time. Melancholy, raw and real, stirs again.
This time, I stay with it.
Why?
It would seem like a capricious indulgence to let sadness in when life can be filled with love. And love, of which I have much, is full of life and awesomeness. And a love-filled life is, I’ve come to believe, the panacea for sadness.
I know of the temptation to run away. To hide. To deny. To pretend not to feel it. To buy into the high-stakes illusion that productivity equals happiness. To get buzzing with busy-ness, occupied and preoccupied with endless (un)important things.
But I’ve made that mistake before (and will likely make that mistake again).
So, while I’m conscious, I choose not to make that mistake, at least this time.
Instead, I acknowledge this real-time, real emotion with openness. I remind myself that the best way to get over something, anything, is to go through it.
After all, time will pass and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it but to hold the moments close. And when the mood lifts, and it will with each passing moment, I will welcome the next moments that follow.
But not yet.
Not at this present time.
THE PASSING OF TIME, THE LYRICS ( by PC Munoz)
I’ve certainly talked about it enough so I think it’s only fair to leave you with at least the words to the song The Passing of Time.
There’s a new day on the horizon
I can see the morning sun
Tomorrow has a way of finding you
No matter where you run
All your doubts and disappointments
Your sorrows and your fears
Your joys and all your glories
Whisper through the years
Every conversation
Every word you’ve said
Every time that you’ve forgotten
The sacred and the dead
All the loves that you have buried
Every sin that you’ve denied
Every memory that visits you
In the quiet of your mind
Chorus1
Don’t know why it makes me so sad inside
It’s just the passing of time
(repeat)
I swear the rocks are speaking
Singing someone’s name
To dust you will return one day
‘Cause from dust is where you came
There are friends I have deserted
And some friends I don’t speak of
There are women I’ve forgotten
And some that I still love
That’s why they say remember
And hold your moments close
Memorize the faces
Of the folks you love the most
Chorus2
So here’s a toast to your favorite ghosts
And the passing of time
(repeat)
Raise your glass, this won’t last
It’s the passing of time
Don’t know why it makes me so sad inside
It’s just the passing of time
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Tell me about the present. Are you here? Or elsewhere?
Share your thoughts on the passing of time.
Do you believe in holding the moments close?
Do you let yourself feel your feelings or do you sometimes run and hide? Why?
Do you busy yourself in hopes of escaping your feelings? If so, does it work?
++++++++++++++++++
Image by hapal
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I have never heard of that song but the lyrics and your post have me in tears!!
You are right, it is so easy to get on with all the ‘stuff’ in life and let the small moments pass by, and only later realise what we missed. I have often tried to bury feelings by keeping ‘busy’. It defintely doesn’t work, at some point, and usually when you least expect it, they come up and bite you in the bum. Facing them in the moment may often be the most difficult choice, but in the long run, it provides so much more peace, happiness and contentment.
I love the expression about the present being called the present because that is exactly what it is – the greatest gift we can ever have.
Let’s make every single moment count, starting now:)
Many thanks,
Kate
http://www.improvedconfidence.com
I go back and forth between being present and being caught in the rush. I want to make sure that I take action today that will lead to a better tomorrow, and to keep all my promises, its just so easy to lose track of today which goes by so fast. Sometimes though like you described here the present will reach out and grab me.
Hi Belinda,
I definitely believe it is much better to feel your feelings. I think they stay with us until they are confronted. And running away from them is really an illusion since I don’t think it’s possible over the long term. While addressing the feelings usually results in some immediate sadness, this can often allow us to become emotionally clear beginning soon after.
I try my best to live in the present since I’ve found that I’m a lot happier when I lose track of time and just enjoy what I’m doing at the moment. But it is a challenge!
Regarding being busy, I’ve tried to apply minimalism to my life, so I have the time to enjoy the moments like the one you mentioned. Life can easily turn into one big checklist.
Belinda — Wow…that song is beautiful and haunting. I can see how it traveled with you that day. It is hard in today’s busy busy to be diligent about the moments we miss. Life does sort of “push us out the door” even when we don’t want to go.
However, in your case…you did pay attention. You did notice the melody and when you came home, you experienced a different moment, but one that was born from the one you missed. I hope this doesn’t sound too strange, but maybe that’s what happens….like a bubble inside a bubble…a moment missed leads to another not forgotten. At least you have the wisdom to see that:~)
Stunning graphic Belinda absolutely stunning.
What about the words?
Few of us dwell on the passing of time because we all know what that means and where it leads.
Perhaps if we aren’t busy our mind would start to drift and think about the future… so we keep ourselves busy.
The song makes us all sad but as I said, we don’t dwell on it.
Hi Belinda,
You’re post is beautiful. I found myself lost in the lyrics of the song – they were very stirring emotionally. I do think we are all so busy that each day goes by without us really connecting to the present. That’s so sad. I recently lost my father and this has made a huge impression on me. In the blink of an eye your whole life can change without there being a thing you can do about it. I’ve learned from this that you have savor the present moment
Time is one of my obsessions. I have to remind myself constantly about the present. The fragility of time haunts me sometimes because your surrounding dynamics can change in an instant. From happy to sad to back again. I think we all play hide and seek with time without really knowing why.
No, you didn’t join in the boys fun this time. But I bet you will next time! And that’s life – learning to forgive yourself and let it go, not to regret what’s in the past… but to learn from it so you act differently next time. We can’t always be “on.” There are some days we will inevitably have trouble focusing, enjoying the moment, relaxing. But my goal is just to minimize these distracted, busy days. If I can live “in the moment” the majority of days, that’s a win.
Now I’m wiping tears. Wow that is a powerful song. My mom is nearly 90 and not in good health. I saw her this week while visiting MI and the words soooo speak to me and I’m blessed to have visited her twice! Moments in time…the loving ones are what matters the most.
Beautiful words that, like all good song lyrics should, get me reflecting on what time means to me. Not that I don’t think about that all the time. I literally do. Ever since my teens, I’ve felt like an old soul, always painfully aware that all things pass and that I will too.
There’s something strange, almost abstract, about the passing of time. You can’t hold a moment in your hand, and for that reason I often feel a little restless… a little unsettled. However, it doesn’t make me want to get busy for the sake of being busy – big deal. No, I’d rather find meaning in those fleeting moments, and have meaning outlast them somehow. “Can’t be done,” I guess some would say, but there you have it.
Funnily enough, the words to The Passing of Time remind me of the words to another song called Autumn by Century Sleeper. I don’t really know why…
You stand before me in my mind
But you are lost to me this time
You walk before me in my dreams
But you are never as you seem
As you move, so I see
Your reflection
On the water
Beauty, Frailty
Come now to me.
I agree! I do forget the important things that really matters whenever I am busy. But am learning to be more aware of it.
I would like to complement PC’s lyrics. He is a genius in his craft. I’ve recently visited his site (maybe two weeks ago) and enjoyed watching his video.
Firstly, what a stunning image!
We all often get so busy with our daily lives that we forget to pause and get present to all the natural beauty around us such as in nature and we literally miss the sunsets.
I lost my father just over 2 years ago and his memories are as vivid as ever, and the pain no less lighter. Though I cherish the memories, many a time I wish I had spent more time with him and got to know him better.
Since then, I endeavour to spend more time with loved ones an dmake quality time each day for the things that are important to me.
Thanks Belinda for a timely and poignant reminder about what’s really important in our lives – your husband and son are lucky to have you:-)
Love, Arvind
hi belinda,
how are you?
i can relate with your post because sometimes i listen to things but miss the important message behind it
thanks for sharing this and i felt the words of the song are deeeeepppp. i am watching his youtube video right now and i like his genre of music.
take care of yourself
Oh yeah, passing of time speaks to me too. The most important thing for me now is to do that no more. I cannot go back in time and bring loved ones back, or moments back. I need to let those go but remember the lesson, do not let moments go now and I am doing my hardest to not let those go. I am grateful I am hearing the words in my daily life right now. xox Wilma
Sometimes I really do want to just put time in a bottle.
At least I’m faster now at knowing when I’m in a Hallmark moment, and I squeeze it like there’s no tomorrow.