He asks,
will you still
be with me
when I’m big?
And I sit for a second
as I steel myself
to ignore the wave of
emotion that surges
within
and resist the urge
to overwhelm him
with embrace
while a lump builds
as tears prepare
to pour out of ducts –
mine, not his.
Instead,
I say to him,
I will be with you
for as long
as you want me
knowing
the day will come
when I’m the
last person he’ll
want to have
so close.
++++++++++++++++++++
Attachment. Letting go. Parenting. Being human. Thoughts?
++++++++++++++++++++
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Sheesh. Being a parent is tough. Very tough. Even though this post brought many tears to my eyes, I wouldn’t swap it for anything on the planet. I love my boy.
oh this one stings…and then they will get passed that point, hopefully…i did…
This vignette cuts to the core Belinda. So hard to watch them grow and let go. It reminds me so much of how my own daughter says,”Will you live with me when I am a hundred?” Oh, yes, I say, not knowing how to answer the question as a tear runs down my cheek.
Ouch. I think this is the bittersweet pain every parent feels when we look ahead. It always seems odd to me when the prophet tells Mary a sword will pierce her heart, as though that is some kind of news. How could that sword not pierce the heart of any parent? Is it ever easy to let a child grow and then let them go?
A little early for tears today, but I couldn’t help myself. Lovely.
I went through that. But it’s not the end. After a bit they grow up, our boys, and then if we are mindful we can develop this wonderful adult friendship with them that still has the underlying emotional bond, mutual caring with the respect of personal space, My son turned 29 last month and he is still the light of my life.
Nooo! They’ll always want me, won’t they?? To kiss them goodnight and squeeze them good morning?
I don’t even want to think about it…lol
The worst was when she stopped running at full speed into my arms the second she saw me. Then kisses went from full on smooches on the lips to cheek pecks. I guess they have to grow up, but I know I still want smooches and full speed running.
One of my favorite parts of the day is the “mommy’s home” – never knew I was so exciting
I’ve never even gotten that and especially not while he’s building things.
The workout of parenting, to separate from your child and let them separate from you. To enjoy it, but not need it.
When I first became a mom, I summed it to be all joy and grief at the same time! A wise mom friend told me that even though I was letting go of one way of caring for them, their would be many more new memories even when they are growing up and away. And, there has been, it changes, but there is always a connection.
Sweet. I love this. When you have this closeness ,even though he will grow up he will always look for your company.
This is so lovely – it choked me up.
The best part is, when a parent/child relationship is close and connected, it stays that way even after they are “gone” from home. That’s been my experience with my three adult children.
Poignant tug-of-war. I’m not a parent, so I have a different perspective. I am an adult who for financial reasons needs to live with her parents. And they are gracious and love having me here, but I chafe, longing for my own nest, to stretch my wings again and fly. It’s hard to balance connection and independence, no matter how old your child is.
Belinda I am so impressed with your writing. It’s beautiful. They will part one day, but if you do the job right (and I’m not convinced I am), they will always come back. There is nothing that can replace a mother’s love. But there are keys to keeping it.
Oh, this hits so close to home for me. I have 2 teenage boys and fortunately, the bonds are still tight. With love, understanding and willingness on my part to allow them to continue growing into the beautiful young men that they are, I’m certain everything will work out wonderfully in the end.
so true . so well written , i could feel the emotion. You undoubtedly are laying a good foundation for when the do leave..and they do
I love this parenting gig but have to say, I’ve never been good about the letting go part, and I know I must someday. Oh how I dread the inevitable.
oh belinda…
this touched deep. will you still be with me when i’m big?
oh, if only they could know HOW much we love them. if only. such a beautiful post.
Belinda,
It is my guess that he will always want you to be close. That is the hope of a parent. It is tough letting them go but if you do the proper job of parenting as I think you are doing, he will return time after time.
I hope you are well.
Best,
Bob