Why Not Give Love a Chance? Forty Ways!

by Belinda Munoz on September 1, 2010

love

Sometimes, inspiration hits when you least expect it.  You see, last night, I didn’t need inspiration to write.  I was brimming with ideas when I sat down in front of my laptop.  Then I read Tess’ KINDNESS post that pushed all my other ideas aside.  And then, per Tess’ suggestion, I clicked over to Lori’s LOVE post and that was it for me.  Both posts blew me away.   I was filled with unexpected inspiration that I simply must go with the flow.  This flow?  It leads me to Love.

L-O-V-E

This four-letter word that is so magnanimous and so powerful we sometimes don’t know what to do with it.

This four-letter word I write about obliquely and have not been able to nail.

This four-letter word that trumps all other four-letter words known to any talk show host across any given spectrum.

This four-letter word that I’m not ashamed to admit I continue to want and need despite having plenty of it.

This four-letter word that is a gift I wish for everyone I meet.

This four-letter word that is a place from which I strive to start anything I do, though every now and then, find myself resorting to last.

Why not give love a chance? 

CONVERSATION

1 Why not chat up a lonesome person waiting at the bus stop?  If you’re savoring these remaining days of sunshine a-plenty by going for a walk or a run, wouldn’t it be nice to exchange friendly banter with someone who’s waiting for the bus to arrive?  If you never take the bus, I can tell you those ten minutes of waiting can feel like an hour when you’re without a book, an iPod or magically caught up on texting, e-mailing or phone-calling.

2 Why not get out of the house, intentionally leaving any devices home that impede human contact, and be open to interacting with strangers?  Leave your partner home if you have one and go solo.  Be generous with your smile.  Make eye contact with other people who are alone and let them know they are not invisible to you.  Make sure they know without question that you see them. 

3 Why not attend a country fair and instead of shopping for holiday gifts, focus on the vendors and the artists selling their wares?  Much of these items are labors of love and in many cultures, artists are under-appreciated.

4 Why not give directions to tourists?  I see them all the time in my town this time of year.  While they may not expect to be catered to, imagine what a great feeling they would take with them knowing that locals took the time to help them out.

5 Why not read a book by a rookie author, write a great review of the book if you liked it, and write a letter to the author expressing your appreciation of their work and sending it through the publisher?  The best-sellers are not necessarily the best books.  They may have mainstream appeal but there are plenty of wonderful authors whose words are full of gems waiting to be shared with more readers.

6 Why not let soulfulness fill you once in a while instead of verbalizing on and on how you feel?  I love words.  But sometimes, words aren’t enough.  If you’re so moved, why not cry?  If your heart stirs, why not belt out a tune?  If you’re filled with joy, why not hug someone tight?  These are not shameful acts and I secretly believe that everyone would commit these acts more often if there was no stigma attached to them.

7 Why not keep a criticism to yourself?  I am the first to admit that I struggle with poor customer service.  I can be demanding if I feel I’m not getting my money’s worth.  But if it’s not a matter of life and death, why not let a slip up slide?  Systems may need improving (and at times a complete overhaul) but humans are not not robots.  We make mistakes.  We have bad days.  Our errors don’t mean we need an overhaul or that we won’t get it right the next time.

8 Why not zap any unkind thoughts before they escape your lips?  I can understand habitual cursing — that can be a hard habit to break and that’s not what I’m talking about.  I personally think thoughtless and unkind words that provoke hate, that incite hatefulness in others who listen, only cheapen that person’s words and credibility.  If hate is the tone or the message, then the words are just noise.  Not worth a flying hoot.

9 Why not wish a person well?  Sometimes, I sign my e-mails Be well.  And I mean it.  It may not be an overt act of love, but it’s certainly something I want and am happy to receive.  The gift of wellness.  We all want it.  This wish can be proclaimed silently or in writing or in secret.

10 Why not express concern freely if intuition tells you something’s off?  Sometimes, we know something’s not quite right but yet we hem and haw.  We don’t want to pry.  We think it’s not our place to speak up.  But before a problem can be addressed, it must first be acknowledged.

ITTY-BITTY LOVE

11 Why not hand out stickers or fashion tattoos to little children (preferably in front of their parent(s) or caretaker)?  These things make the little rugrats happy.  Why not let these impressionable souls experience kindness from a stranger that they may be old enough to remember for years to come?

12 Why not offer to lend a hand to a mother with at least one young one in tow if she appears to be struggling with groceries, or laundry or some other mundane task that are really quite simple to handle otherwise?  Moms have a big job to do with no compensation.  A little love would go a long way.

13 Why not stop yourself if you ever feel like shooting dagger looks (or worse) at a child/caretaker combo because they are cramping your style (too much talking, too much crying, too many questions, too loud, too damn much for you, etc.)? 

14 Why not play peek-a-boo with a little ragamuffin?  They are social beings and one of their favorite things to do is play peek-a-boo with strangers.  It warms the parents’ hearts to know that their child plays well with others.

15 Why not let parents know if you’ve observed them handling themselves particularly well in an interaction with their child?  Parenting can be daunting at times and each time I’ve received a random compliment from a stranger, my heart swells.

16 Why not go ahead and goo-goo gaga over a newborn baby if you happen to be in the presence of one?  I do.  So many things could go so wrong in the gestation process.  Both for the mother and the wee ‘un.  (Sparing gory details.)  When they both make it through alive, it’s beyond beautiful.  It’s a miracle.

17 Why not embrace love in a really big way and adopt a child?  There is not a shortage of orphans needing a loving home. 

18 If the above is too much too soon, why not scale back and adopt a pet?  There is not a shortage of pets needing a loving home.

19 Why not dig around and see if the child you once were is still in you?  Is she/he gregarious?  Why not coax her/him out to play?  to laugh?  to shine?

ROADSIDE LOVE

20 Why not help a petite woman (or anyone, really) stow her carry-on in the overhead bin?  I have been on the receiving end of this kindness many a time and believe me, it never gets old.

21 Why not pay for someone’s bus fare?  More and more people are giving up their cars in favor of public transportation in this time of economic struggle.  You can imagine how tight and uncomfortable these buses can be.  Imagine making someone’s morning for the price of $2?

22 Why not spare the air in 90-degree weather and walk or ride a bike or carpool or telecommute?

23 Why not eat locally grown foods for at least a week?  See how it feels.  If you like it, extend it to a month, a year or a lifetime, whatever makes you happy.

THOUGHTFUL LOVE

24 Why not buy popsicles for a random posse on an off the charts hot day?

25 Why not plant a tree in honor or in memory of someone through www.sempervirens.org?

26 Why not make a donation to a cause you love in lieu of material gifts for loved ones for the holidays?

27 Why not write a poem and dedicate it to someone who inspires you?

28 Why not try a No Complaint Day (or year, or hour, whatever suits you)?

29 Why not let your inner world traveler spin that globe and wherever your finger lands, why not let your inner activist learn about the issues and struggles of that country?  For starters, find out what their average income is.  Then, find out how big their average house is, what basics they may not have that we take for granted, etc.  Then, consider how awesome it is that you are alive concurrently as they are and that you could visit someday if you wanted to.  As the Disneyland song goes, it’s a small world after all.

30 Why not treat yourself to a day off, one when you do nothing but things you love?

SIMPLIFYING THE COMPLEX

31 Why not believe in love?

32 Why not love yourself?

33 Why not love others?

34 Why not lift the conditions when you love?

35 Why not do what you love and love what you do?

36 Why not start and end anything you do with love?

37 Why not do all the things in the middle from a place of love?

38 Why question love?

39 Why not live like there’s no tomorrow?

40 Why not start now?

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Related posts:

Fifty Ways to Pay It Forward

Operation Hide Love Less

Can We Talk About Love for a Minute?

Image by alykat

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Knowing Your Place: the Science/Art and the Illusion

by Belinda Munoz on August 30, 2010

one empty seat

In general, I’m not very adventurous.  I would never eat bugs (not even the edible ones) on a dare.  I would never volunteer to voyage into space (not even with really, really experienced and smart astronauts/cosmonauts) for an indefinite period of time.  And if there’s ever a rush to hurtle down into a ravine for a once in a lifetime interaction with Sasquatch, you’d find me many, many miles away from there.

KNOWING YOUR PLACE

I know my place.

We don’t get to be adults without having some sort of idea what our place is.  Many of us find ourselves squarely within civilization, aka the grid.  We’re in the so-called system, we live in a community with folks similar to us and we travel on roads paid for by our taxes en route to establishments we frequent, partaking in activities widely known to be legal, all the while obeying all traffic rules (most of the time).  Fine.

How we arrive at this place is largely a function of birth, heredity, “pedigree” and choice.  Fine.

Some of us opt to fall off the grid for any set of reasons.  These folks, to varying degrees, follow the same rules we do.  The difference is they reject many of the things we’ve come to take for granted (i.e. outrageously expensive organic produce, countless cable tv channels, retail anything, wholesale anything, etc.) and embrace other less conventional practices (i.e. getting drinking water from a well, foraging for food, using an outhouse <remember that memorable scene in Slumdog Millionaire?>, etc.).  Fine.

THE SCIENCE AND ART OF KNOWING YOUR PLACE

If we’re on the internet right now, chances are we both have strong conventional tendencies.  You, like me, have accepted this very mainstream medium and probably get much knowledge/entertainment/gossip from online sources.  However, we remain in possession of unconventional tendencies, unique to our individuality, that separate us from the pack.  (Maybe I do a few yoga poses at 3 a.m. everyday.  Maybe you sing to your plants at 3 a.m. everyday.  I don’t know.)

How we balance the mix between our outer conventional practices and respect and honor our inner unconventional leanings, the stuff within that makes us unique, and still remain true to our ever-evolving identity, is where the art and science of knowing our place join together, wrestle with each other, or take turns alternating between the two.

THE ILLUSION OF YOUR PLACE

I’ve used the word uncharacteristic before to describe someone (anyone) I’ve come to know doing something or behaving in such a manner he or she has never (at least publicly) been identified doing or being.  In my mind, I’ve put this person in a proverbial box (artsy, straight-laced, new-agey, etc.) and left him/her there until proven otherwise.  Guilty until proven innocent, so to speak.

We do this, don’t we?  We categorize people around us in an attempt to seize control of a fraction of a somewhat-to-mostly uncontrollable world.

Until they surprise us.  I had no idea so and so in accounting is in a Shakespeare production! And just like that, the world we struggle so hard to understand once again (for the billionth time!) proves how little control we have.

But enough about control or lack thereof.

The real question is, do we allow ourselves to break out of the box(es) we may have unintentionally  put ourselves in?

Oh, I can’t do that!  I’m too old for that.

I’m afraid I can’t participate even though I’d like to.  I just don’t have the experience.

Who, me?  I don’t have the basic knowledge and I can’t afford the risk plus it’s such a huge investment and I can’t make a fool of myself. And on and on.

Some of this may be true.  Yet, some things we’ve come to believe about ourselves, no matter how fervently we believe them, are nothing but illusion.

To do or be something that’s uncharacteristic of us is not the hard part.

The hard part is acknowledging that this place in which we find ourselves, this place in which we’ve come to settle, does not have to be the place in which we stay.

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  1. How do you retain your individuality in a big-box buying/selling culture that pushes us into falling in line, or else, we don’t get ours?
  2. Do you ever want to put up a fight?  Rebel?  Break out?  Give the system the middle finger?  (What’s stopping you, if any?)
  3. Do you ever surprise yourself by doing or being something you didn’t think you would/could/should?
  4. Do you always know how things will go down where you’re concerned?
  5. Do you thrive on being able to determine what happens next or do you prefer to live the unknown?

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Image by It’s Greg

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The Waiting Game — Six Word Fridays

by Belinda MunozAugust 27, 2010

I long for something, waiting impatiently
I count the days, anticipating anxiously
I listen to the tick-tock mind-numbingly
I pretend to be cool hopelessly
Don’t distract me with concepts highbrow
Don’t bother telling me about Tao
Save the what, why or how
Like Veruca, I want it now
Experience, years, perspective have shown me
This waiting game makes me edgy
B**chy, y’think?  Sure, but still [...]

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A Little Leeway

by Belinda MunozAugust 25, 2010

Bathed.  Brushed.  Regaled with made-up stories.  Read to with special effects.
Such is the bedtime routine for a certain pre-schooler I adore.
Sometimes, there’s fussing, crying or full-on histrionic tantrums that, every now and then, threaten to push me to the edge.  Other times, there’s laughing, loads of silly antics or noisy good fun sure to keep [...]

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Wisdom from a Hay Bale Maze

by Belinda MunozAugust 23, 2010

Recently, my threesome of a family went to an Apple Fair in a sweet Stars Hollow-like town an hour north of the Golden Gate Bridge.  Thousands of folks from around the Bay, dressed in the most summery of Northern California attire, gathered to sip reds and whites from local wineries and to sample a dizzying [...]

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The Best: The Nebulous and the Real Deal — Six Word Fridays

by Belinda MunozAugust 20, 2010

The so-called best must exist somewhere
It ain’t ordinary or counterfeit, beware
It’s a-simmering in Top Chef’s cookware
Swirling concentric circles in crystal stemware.
Do you want it?  Don’t you care?
Bid on it.  Say a prayer.
Gotta have it?  Truth or dare?
It’s out there.  Who’s the seller?
Wanna buy it?  Who’s the sucker?
If you believe the age-old rumor
The best ain’t anywhere [...]

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One Day. One Person. One Perspective Changed.

by Belinda MunozAugust 18, 2010

LIKE THE FIRST DAY IN A NEW SCHOOL
Anxious.  Nervous.  Dubious.  And a teeny bit excited.
That’s how I started my day.  Part scattered and part misplaced.
Why?
I needed to fix a problem that someone else created.  That wasn’t why.  There was bad news that I had to deliver to someone whom I knew wasn’t going to take [...]

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No Complaint Day

by Belinda MunozAugust 16, 2010

A while ago, I wrote about five guiding principles that help me remember what a gift each day truly is.  At the end of each day, I reflect on kindness, gratitude, love, beauty and happiness and assess whether I’ve made room for each of these to breathe, to manifest within me, or have allowed myself [...]

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This Much I Know — Six Word Fridays

by Belinda MunozAugust 13, 2010

Last night, I attended a reception to meet several congressional candidates from around the country.  It didn’t matter whether they’re from Arizona, Pennsylvania, Florida, Illinois, Washington or California.  The problems that voters bring to their attention are the same: unemployment, worker’s rights, single parent woes, health care, elder abuse, etc.  At the heart of these [...]

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Seven Reasons I’m Glad I’m Not Bob Dylan

by Belinda MunozAugust 11, 2010

Let me be clear.  I’m a fan of the man.  His album Love and Theft (released on 9/11, 2001 which Newsweek calls #2 album of the decade) plays at home on perennial repeat since its release.  Road trips aren’t complete without his wise and clever words.  Last Christmas, his album called Christmas in the Heart [...]

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